In the News

Time for us come clean. It was sabotage.

It’s time for the FDP comms shop to come clean. Many of you have been wondering just how the RPOF could have done such an incredibly bad job handling the fallout from the racism scandal in Rick Scott’s campaign. How could so many qualified people not have the slightest clue how to handle a crisis, and why would they let the top campaign officials lie on the record, saying the jokes never took place?

Well today you have your answer. The FDP has managed to infiltrate the RPOF and sabotage their communications department. It really wasn’t hard — all we had to do was sign our texts to Lenny, “Delete this before it can be requested as a public record, Adam H.” Honestly, what other explanation is there for their actions besides sabotage? 

But we grew too bold in our efforts and feel compelled to come clean. After we gave them the idea to wage a war over which gubernatorial candidate was more of a “man of the people,” we knew we had gone too far. Many of you rightly assumed such a laughably hypocritical attack had to be a joke, so we knew the game was up.  

As a way to make amends for our deceit, we offer the press corps the confidential blue prints of the RPOF headquarters we managed to obtain under the guise of trying to track down exactly where Rick Scott stores his second roof.  


 

We hope you’ve enjoyed the last few weeks as much as we have,

– Joshua and Max

#AprilFools

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